RSL Loses

Instead of ranting about the game, a 2-0 loss, I'm going to complain about other things I see in soccer games and broadcasts that drive me nuts.

1) "The Mixer" - I've been alive 31 years, and in 29 of those years I've never heard the 18 yard box called "the mixer". Last summer Dave O'Brien, a clueless (though well intentioned) hack announcer gets the World Cup gig, starts calling the 18 yard box "the mixer" (because I'm sure he has no idea that it's 18 yards), and now EVERYONE is calling the 18 yard box "the mixer". IT'S THE 18 YARD BOX.

GO FUCK YOURSELF IN THE MIXER.

2) If you've got a free kick, and can put the ball into the 18 YARD BOX, why are you making an extra pass to get it there? Same thing with corner kicks... the short corner kick is a fucking waste. DON'T THROW AWAY OPPORTUNITIES.

3) If you play cautious formations, like the 4-5-1, and you don't have Thierry Henry sitting up top, you're going to end up losing. Because 1 striker never scores when he's playing four fullbacks. Unless he gets lucky.

4) If you're up by a goal with 30 minutes left in the game, and you sit everyone back and play in a shell, you're going to end up in a tie or loss. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS. No one wins by playing half-assed.

OH FUCK IT.

RSL has the undefeated NY Red Bulls next, and at some point you just have to say "well this isn't fucking working". 4-5-1? Sure the midfield is having fun. Freddy Adu can run by guys all day. Mehdi Ballouchy is all over the place, but isn't going to work as the up midfielder, because he won't shoot, or can't create his own shots. I know the defense was a mess last year, but they were a lot better in the second half of the year... the team was the best team in the second half. So why not build on that? Why change it up? Why are they playing a 4-5-1?

I just think they're too loyal to their guys. Sure, Jason Kreis has a million goals, but that was 5 years ago. Carey Talley is a nice guy, but someone's gotta sit. It's time to do something different. It ain't working.

This RSL team reminds me every team I ever played on... things not going your way? Foul and bitch at the referee. I don't like it when I'm playing, and I don't like watching it on tv.

Ruined

I have a horrible memory. Most of my childhood, high school, college... all just a blur, really. I wish that I had some really great drug use stories to account for the memory loss, but unfortunately I don't. Unless I don't remember them.

The memories I do have are generally of things that annoyed me. I can remember the chlorine-like smell of the trees on west second street on the way to my grandmother's old house. I have a very distinct memory of my last game at old Busch Stadium in St. Louis - of a man sitting in front of me making a "three up, three down" hand signal at the end of innings, and the way the crowd around him slowly took up his cheer. Now everytime I watch baseball and the announcer says "three up, three down" I think of him. I'd like to murder him.

And I just forgot what this post was going to be about.

Oh wait.

If you look at the way the title of this blog is labeled in your web browser, you'll see the words "this is salsa music". Why? It's because of another strange thing that I can't forget.

Last New Year's Gina and I attended a party. Like most parties, we knew some of the people, and others we didn't. As the night wore on, there was a slight argument over the music - but eventually the mix came up to a track of Latin music. This sent one of the guests into a state of what I can only call amazed-disbelief.

"Is this SALSA music!?!?" she said. No one answered. It wasn't as if she didn't approve; It was more like she couldn't believe someone had the ability to produce this music through a pair of speakers. Her level of amazement would be only matched by someone who was seeing flight for the first time.

As the song played on, she began to dance. She complimented the other dancers, but kept saying aloud "THIS IS SALSA MUSIC!"

"This is SALLLLLSAAAAA MUSIC!"

It is.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are floating in bbq sauce

I'm working on titles that actually make sense... maybe next time.

So Fulham lost yesterday - no surprises there - but they played with more spirit than we've seen in a while. Part of this was due to the spark that was Clint Dempsey, who came on in the second half and actually looked creative and energetic. So there's that.

Although I'm still coughing a bit, after watching a bit of the Versus network cycling coverage yesterday I couldn't keep off the bike. It had been over a week, and there's really no excuse for that. It really is easier to just sit around and watch television.

But after you get back in the swing of things, you start to crave it. I haven't gotten there yet this year, and it's almost frightening. I remember what happens when I don't exercise. So somehow I've got to find that mojo back.

I bought an Ipod mini a couple weeks ago with the intent of getting into that Nike+ thing (which is some sort of running software that works on Ipod), but so far I've just not done anything. I've got a nice car for nice days - why bother putting the work in myself?

Anyway, I'm looking forward to not doing anything this weekend. Not doing anything meaning I won't have to drive back to Illinois (it's been 3 times in the past four weeks), and I can get on a bike and waste a day. Now if the wind will just settle down..

RSL's on tonight. I don't know what to think.

Oh, called IU Dental School. IT'S JUST MY MOUTH.

I'M A WALKING LIGHTNING

Hey kids. I've just completely revamped the design over at Hoosier Beer Geek, and it's really quite possibly some of my best work. Maybe. Anyway, check it out. I'll give you a hug.

hardy. har har.

not really worksafe...

I was a horrible student

Another option I have in lieu of paying a regular dentist $8000+ for dental work is to use the IU Dental School option. My friendly dental hygentist suggested this option, where the costs will come in at roughly one-fourth the costs I'd pay for someone with a degree to do the work. That's only $2000, which means I won't spend the next two years paying for it, the whole while thinking about how great a bicycle I could have bought for $8000 (probably the best bicycle ever, I'd guess).

But the work would be done by an IU Med School student... Which seems a bit risky. Still.. $6000? Anyone have any experience with the IU Dental School? I know that I can count on half-day appointments - I'm ok with that, we own a PSP and a Nintendo DS and several magazines. Anything else I need to worry about? I mean other than having some kid tear the nerves out of my mouth?

* * * * *

I'm rockin' a cold right now, so no exercise. I'm about to write off the whole year as SUCK.

My soul's a bowl of jokes

Remember several months ago when I wrote about seeing a new dentist? Well I finally made it there today. Here are some notes:

LL Perio scale&root pln-4+per quad
LR Perio scale&root pln-4+per quad
UR Perio scale&root pln-1-3th quad
UL Perio scale&root pln-1-3th quad
Periodontal Maint
2 Resin composite-1s, posterior
3 Crown buildup, includ any pins
3 Crown-porc fuse high noble mtl
12 Resin composite-1s, posterior....

BLAH BLAH BLAH $8,348.00

Let this be a lesson to you - don't have teeth.

I've cancelled this year's vacation plans - and I'm ok with that. I should have had this taken care of a long time ago. And so I will. Not that I have $8000 - That I'll have to figure out.

I guess the only question I have is if I'm going to have $8000 in work done, at least get some diamonds worked in?

oh yeah, that.

You might be wondering how RSL's season has started this year... RSL currently are 0-1-2, and sitting in last place. They've become the team I'm most attached to, which makes things all that much more worse. I actually just paid $5 to watch crappy online video of the game against Chivas USA - and then the feed didn't work for the first 20 minutes of the game. When it finally did work, the score was already 2-0.

There's nothing worse than feeling like an idiot for sitting at home watching soccer online on a Saturday night - unless the soccer you paid to see doesn't work. Then you just cuss at the computer.

I called for a refund but they basically told me to get a life.

As for Fulham, no game on tv this week, which didn't matter because I'm in Illinois for the funerals. And Fulham tied, which means they've got to beat Arsenal or Liverpool in the coming weeks, or there's a REALLY good chance they're getting relegated.

Looking for a Premiership team to root for next year...

Trying to figure out what I've gotten myself into with RSL...

Crap weekend.

ok.

I'm back in Illinois at my mom's for Funeralpalooza 07 - two funerals in four days. My family are experts at the funeral game these days - we try to have at least a couple a year.

I'm disturbingly apathetic about the whole process; maybe you can tell. If it ever catches up with me, I'll go on a month-long weeping spree.

Anyway, I was thinking about my own funeral, and I know you can't write your own eulogy, but if I could, I think it would start "Mike hated babies and women..."

I think that's funny.

I just knocked on wood.

You may share your funny funeral anecdotes, you may not offer your condolences. Ok, you can offer condolences, but it seems really weird to me.

Ok, gotta go. Ashes to snort.

funnyhaha

My old friend (and former new favorite german) Moritz Volz is back with his semi-regular column for the London Times (or Times of London or Lontime Dons). This week he's addressing how to look the part of a premiership player. Funny stuff. Here are a few favorites:

Any player being filmed leaving a team bus must ensure that he is wearing headphones and carrying a small Louis Vuitton wash bag.

Two or more players should always dispute who will take a free kick, even though they have spent an entire week on the training ground working out who will take them.

Before kick-off, goalkeepers should always hang from the crossbar to check it does not have any cracks in it.

nice box

Saturday morning I awoke at 6 AM, jumped in the shower, threw on a pair of cycling shorts, a heart rate monitor, and two underarmor shirts, and headed to the Plainfield Aquatic Center for my first spinning marathon.

The marathon consisted of five straight spinning classes, for a total of 4 hours worth of simulated hill climbs, sprints, intervals, and general all around unenjoyable knee pain. I was asked to participate by my coworker and cycling partner, and before the event started, I asked him "what kind of asshole drags me into this?" Anyway, I survived, despite watergun fights, attractive instructors, and Ted Nugent music. I'd probably do it again, I guess.

After a post-marathon pizza run, I settled into my couch for Fulham/Reading. Fulham proceeded to not win, which they've done 8 straight games now. Relegation looms large, and that means I tend to yell at the television a bit more. I honestly don't know what I'll do if Fulham is relegated; it means no more Saturday games on television, no more weekly Brian McBride, no more wondering if Clint Dempsey will get any minutes (he did this week, and played well enough), no more wondering how Carlos Bocanegra can both make me happy and worried all at once (he was responsible for the give away that cost them the game this week). I can't imagine rooting for another Premiership team, but what do you do when you can't watch yours?

After a small break and an car stereo Ipod adapter install, I tuned in for RSL vs Columbus Crew. Columbus started hot and pressured RSL throughout the first half, but came away with nothing. In the second half the game turned around; RSL managed to not score anyway. 0-0 final. But I wasn't bored.

Sunday I did a whole bunch of nothing. I watched the FA cup semifinal, watched like 6 episodes of Entourage, attempted to mow the lawn (but my lawnmower is dead), and basically just sat around. And it was good.

I don't see anything exciting coming in the future. Except burnouts in my car. And right now, that's all I need.

new post at hoosierbeergeek

You had better believe that I found the word Bewailment at Dictionary.com.

This way to the review...

Cookie Sacked

Cookie would be the nickname of Fulham manager Chris Coleman. And sacked means fired. I'm English.

Cookie seemed like a good guy - he seemed to really like American players, he may or may not have been sleeping around on his wife, and he kept the team out of the relegation zone for a long time.

But Fulham won one road game in the past two years.

So it was probably time. They're hired Northern Ireland manager Lawrie (not dirty) Sanchez to replace him, and by what I've read, it seems that Sanchez does a nice job. We'll see if he's up for playing Clint Dempsey - Cookie didn't.

*

Indiana University plays Notre Dame in Indy this Saturday.. but it conflicts with my RSL viewing. I don't know what to do. Anyone going to IU/ND?

*

Neko Case put on a nice show last night.

Who are these people that go to shows to have loud conversations with other people? You paid $25+ to not pay attention to the performer?

I don't get it.

Boca scored, Fulham loses

It's almost too depressing to write about the pair of Fulham losses over the weekend. Let's just say that they're doing their best to be relegated, and if that happens I have no idea who I'll watch. And although wearing a championship level team's jersey gives me some sort of awesome soccer cred, I'd rather not.

Instead I've turned my focus to RSL, who give me reason for hope.

*

Gina and I are seeing Neko Case tonight, that should be good.

*

The weather sucks, so I just sit around the house doing nothing. Makes for a boring blog. I'm almost done with watching every episode of The Wire. I'm trying to get second division Spanish club UD Vecindario promoted through the combined forces of Ivan Carril and Xisco on FIFA 07.

And that's it.

Oh boy.

HE IS RISEN!

Who's risen? Jeff Cunningham. And RSL.

The MLS season started Saturday, and RSL battled to... a 2-2 tie. They played really well though, and probably deserved better. Shaky goaltending once again could be pointed to as a culprit.

Jeff Cunningham, who started last year cold before getting really hot and winning the golden boot for most goals scored, scored twice for RSL, and kissed a picture of himself. He was also sporting a fantastic new hairstyle.

All in all, an ok start for RSL. It wasn't a loss. And I expect a win next week.

Who the hell is Lefty Leifield?

According to Aaron Rakers' bio at PortlandBeavers.com, Aaron (h)ails from Trenton, Ill., a city that claims Lefty Leifield, who amassed 124 wins and a 2.47 ERA in 296 big league games from 1905-1920 (Pittsburgh, Cubs, St. Louis), among its major league products.

Lefty was born in Trenton in 1883 and even won 20 games in 1907, with a 2.44 era.

Really?

Trenton existed in 1883?

Your disturbing video of the day

I'm like a pro drinker now

I'd like to turn your attention to Hoosier Beer Geek once again, where I've written another review of beer.

I have no idea what I'm doing, but it's always a good time.

Rewards

If you were to watch the video I took while visiting Japan back in 03 or 02 or whenever that was, you'd come across a point where a yellow Mazda eunos streaks across the screen. I follow it with the camera, and say "that's for the memory bank when I get home."

When I visited Japan again in 05, the new Eunos (not yet on sale in America) was on display in the Hiroshima train station. I stopped to look at it, and decided that it passed the test.

I've been a fan of the Eunos (or Miata in America) since the very first model back in 1990, two years before I turned 16. The automotive press loved the car, and I remember reading about how fun it was to drive. The reviews of the car haven't changed much since then, but the car has gotten better and better.

As we get older, I think sometimes we forget those ideas we had when we were younger. Maybe they're unpractical impractical or unworkable, maybe life gets in the way.

The truth is, it probably is unpracticle impractical, but it's in my garage anyway.

*

I should spent the money on education instead. or a proofreader. Actually, i've already got a proofreader.

2007 Mazda Miata Touring Hardtop Convertible 6 Speed Manual.