26 December 2006

the suit guy was right

I went back to Illinois for the holiday, and brought my suit along - because now that I've got a suit, I really have no reason to wear it.

Sunday I got suited up, buttoned up, took a look in the mirror, and thought "oh boy".

Back on the bike for me. I quick weighing at home last evening confirmed that I'm carrying about 10 extra pounds. It'll sneak up on you just like that.

The only question I have is was I ten pounds lighter when I bought the suit? It was only two weeks ago... seems unlikely. Was I impulsive? Probably. That's how I make major purchases.

In any case, the coat fits well, as long as I don't button up.


I celebrated my suit issues by eating something like 2 cinnamon rolls, then like 3 sausage cheese pastry things for breakfast yesterday, and a chicken breast, fettuccine, two pieces of lasagna, and two pieces of tiramisu for dinner last night. We had an Italian Christmas, and I ate like Fat Tony.

Tonight I'll be sweating with Coach Troy in my living room.

22 December 2006

I like when the guys who check your passport say "Welcome Home"

Just wanted to say welcome back to my pal Jon, who's come back to the states after 7 years in Tibet. Or 5 years in Japan. Something like that.

Jon, if you happen to read this, ring me at






20 December 2006

ufck it

Here's a new track from the leaked LCDSndsystm album. I want to share it with you. It's called Smthng Grt. I took out all the vowels, because I am sneaky.

I suppose I might post again before Christmas, then again, I might not.

I wonder how Jon is spending his last days in Japan. Must be like that odd feeling when you leave a job, except on a much larger scale. It's a bittersweet, weird feeling. Joyous, yet dangerous. Like stepping into the wilderness when you know it's filled with bears. I think.

Hmm. A nothing post for a nothing week. Let's get the year over with already. Who's with me?

I want to play 11 on 11 soccer outside in long socks and a woolly hat. That's my resolution.

Have some nice days.


18 December 2006

alterations to suit and bravado

You may recall my recent experience in suit shopping, where I failed to make a purchase after visiting various stores. I did eventually buy a suit at a Macy's in Greenwood. After fighting with finding the right suit for so long, I found something I was really happy with, and something I felt fit me quite well, right off the shelf.

The Macy's store was extremely busy when I made my purchase, and I decided it would be best to have my tailoring work done elsewhere. I had in mind a certain downtown location, close to work, in a very established looking building.

I've just returned from Leon Tailoring, a store filled with rolls of fabric, old hardwood floors, and a sort of old world handmade charm that should have clued me in immediately that I was in over my head. It was a Leon that I received a harsh lesson in how not to wear a suit from an Old Guy Who's Been In The Business A Long Time.

While he didn't call himself that, his demeanor said it all. From his no nonsense approach, his complete lack of hesitance in telling me I was wearing the wrong size, and his quick unbuttoning on my trousers (he unbuttoned them, held them in place and said "See, isn't this better?"), I knew I was in the hands of an old pro. I also knew that I felt like an idiot.

"You should have got the coat in a 39. Or a 40."

Actually, I tried the coat in a 40 and hated it. "I actually like it tight."

"You look like you've grown out of it."


"What do you want me to do with this? The pants would be $40, the coat (some other number), the sleeves $28... I don't want to just take your money."

Although he was a full foot shorter than I, he had me completely beaten. He might as well have been screaming "Be a man!"

"I'd like to have the sleeves lengthened."

"Ok, when do you want it."

"I'm not in a hurry."

"Call me Thursday."

14 December 2006


So we're in Target, and I can hear a small child crying/growling. The sounds grows in volume as the father, with two kids in tow, is saying "I'm sorry but no" while the angriest 3 year old ever - eyes bulging out of head, his little turnip red face exploding out of his Christmas sweater - is being pushed slowly away from the toy section. His little brother joins in, their crying providing a sick-sad harmony to their Christmas carol. "I want it Dad" he says in a voice that should only be coming out of Linda Blair's possessed body. I am honestly scared.

"I would kill them" I say to Gina.

* * * * *

Our soccer game is finished, and I've crossed the field to the spectator area before I realise that I'm missing my ball. I run back around the outside of the indoor soccer field and find my ball near the visitors' bench. I also find a baby in a car seat.

"Babysitting too?" I ask the lone substitute.

"It's not mine!" he says.

There's no one else standing here.

Mom must be playing goalie, some 50 yards away, on the other side of the wall.

And while I definitely think she's in the wrong, I almost can't blame her.

* * * * *

Kids scare the hell out of me. They're not accidents waiting to happen, they're accidents bound to happen. Deserved accidents that you asked for. Time bombs with defective and unpredictable clocks, tied to your wrist. A curse without a witchdoctor.

Even writing about them makes me nervous.

12 December 2006

free freddy adu

In case you don't follow soccer, or somehow didn't here, Freddy Adu is now a member of your Real Salt Lake soccer club.

I received the news two ways; first, as I sat on my couch post-work yesterday and turned on ESPN, the Sportscenter preview let me know that Freddy had been traded to RSL. I actually said "Holy shit, Steve" and then yelled up the stair to Gina with the news.

Then I checked my gmail account and found an email from RSL GM (and email pal) Steve Pastorino with the title "How's this?" and the news.

I think the deal is great for RSL; they get a name player to help push the stadium, a talented kid who's familiar with the coach, but maybe even more importantly, they also picked up Nick Rimando, a goaltender who can push Scott "Go Go" Garlick - either from his regular goaltending position as "the immovable object*" or out the door somewhere else.

RSL game up a player allocation (provided by the "Beckham rule") and Jay Nolly in the deal - so basically they gave up next to nothing, considering they didn't even have a player allocation a month ago (and I don't think they were going to use it anyway), and the fact that Nolly never played.

A good deal all around, in my opinion. And if Freddy leaves when he turns 18, they've still picked up a goalie who knows what he's doing.

* * * * *

*If Scott Garlick falls in the woods, does he make a sound? Nevermind, falling involves quick movement, something Go Go isn't real familiar with.

11 December 2006

the ol' stomach punch

Up until the time I was about 25, I had never known anyone with cancer. And then the floodgates opened. My father, a family friend, an uncle we buried less than a month ago... and now it appears that my 86 year old grandmother has cancer.

It'd be laughable if it didn't kill everyone. It's still almost laughable, but that's probably because I don't know what else I can do.

When my uncle passed I had an email conversation with a cousin in which I wrote that being here in Indiana while everyone is sick back in Illinois is almost a blessing*, because I don't really see all the much suffering. I just hear the news, see the family member a few more times, and then it all ends. From my standpoint it's a cleanly and almost routine exit; family members get to say their goodbyes and make their peace, and then everything just stops.

But this one is different, and somehow feels less fair. I'm just so fucking angry.

* * * * *

*The word I'm looking for isn't exactly "blessing", because I'm not really a person who buys into blessings and god and all that crap (and can you blame me?). That's a different post for a different day.

06 December 2006

damn you, internet

As you may have gathered from reading my blog in the past, I'm not exactly the busiest person. This leads to a lot of internet surfing, and a lot of messageboard browsing.

That shouldn't be a problem, except the more messageboard browsing I do, the more money I spend on things I never would have known about had I just found something better to do with my time.

For example, yesterday on bikeforums.net, I came across this thread , where I learned that Lance Armstrong and Team Discovery website The Paceline were having a sale on cycling gear. Normally, I'm not the type of person who rides in a professional cycling team kit; It's sort of laughable, like putting on a full Indiana Pacers team uniform to play pickup basketball. There are advantages to wearing what the pros wear in cycling equipment; you're sure that the clothing will be comfortable and breathable, because these guys put more miles in than anyone.

In any case, suddenly I decided that I needed a full Team Discovery kit. And the reasoning is this: 1) the bibshorts, which go for $200 at Trek's online store, were selling for $45. The jersey was $40, normally $99. 2) If you're going to root for a professional cycling team, you might as well root for the America based cycling team, right? 3) I was in need of new shorts anyway. And I might as well have the jersey to match. 4) It's Christmas time, and I deserve to spend a ton of money on myself. I guess.

The other thing I realized was that to the average person driving in their car while I'm biking by, I look like a dork anyway, regardless of what sort of cycling gear I'm wearing. One of the main reasons to wear the ridiculous clothing is to get noticed (and not run over), and my new kit should do a hell of a job there. I'm a rolling billboard for a television channel, AMD processors, some flooring company, Nike, Subaru... in fact, my ass will read "Discovery Channel".

I think that might be some sort of pun.

Of course all this could have been avoided if the internet wasn't my own "discovery channel" - discovering ways to throw money out the window.

04 December 2006

gina didn't really find this all that entertaining

First off a warning: There is a little bit of foul language used here, so don't blare this at work. It's pretty innocent, really, but when he starts taking calls, watch out for some F Bombs from the callers.

Something about this guy reminds me of my old friend Dave H. But you don't have to know Dave to enjoy the mindblowing entertainment of Let's Paint, Exercise and Let's Make Mixed Drinks TV.

By the way, if this isn't enough, dig a little deeper into YouTube and you might also find Let's Paint, Exercise, and Eat Pie TV.

costume shopping

I spent a decent amount of my Saturday in the various department stores of St. Clair Square in beautiful and completely covered in ice Fairview Heights, IL. I was shopping for a suit, not because I need a suit, but because I read fashion magazine and they've taken over my brain. And because it's always good to have a suit.

I was looking for a navy suit, in a fit similar to a coat I purchased at Circle City Mall's H&M store earlier this year. I had done my required reading (an article from GQ on how to buy a suit), I knew the fit I was after, I had my color chosen... simple enough, right?

No, not really. Three stores later (Macy's, Dillards, Men's Warehouse) I was still without a suit.

My thinking is that the suit has to be the most wonderful looking piece of clothing I've ever owned, or there's a real good chance I'll never wear it. And then why would I bother spending the money (which happens to belong to my mother, actually. It's a Christmas gift)?

Anyway, I'll be in Greenwood this evening, trying on suits.

* * * * *

When it gets cold I suddenly feel the need to listen to Sufjan Stevens.

* * * * *

I've been thinking of various ways to improve myself, and here are some things I've considered:

This may look like a resolutions list, but it isn't, because resolution are meant to be kept. I'm just sort of daydreaming.

1) Never be mean. This one is going to take some work.

2) Take some classes at IUPUI. I can't speak any foreign languages, so that would be a good place to start. Single classes are surprisingly affordable. After I've mastered Spanish (In just 3 simple to complete classes!) I'm considering photography courses. I like photos. I just don't have a functioning camera currently.

3) Take up rock climbing. According to my good friend Dave, this is the most difficult thing ever. I'm 20 pounds overweight, sounds perfect. This is probably on hold for a while, I'm currently getting fleeced by the ongoing costs of my soccer league. No one's fault except the 10 people who said they wanted to play and then decided not to pay or show up.

4) Take a cooking class or ten. While this won't help my rock climbing, food is something I really enjoy and I think I'm fairly ok with. But wouldn't it be better to be spectacular? Anyone know anything about some locally available cooking classes? Suggestions?

5) Bike commute to work more often. Which conflicts with...

6) Stop spending so much money on bicycles.

7) Just get out more. I'm in a position where I can afford to not sit around the house, so why don't I take advantage of it? I can complain that the city is boring forever, but if I never actually do anything, then it's probably me that's boring.


8) Stop writing about myself.