14 December 2006

gremlins

So we're in Target, and I can hear a small child crying/growling. The sounds grows in volume as the father, with two kids in tow, is saying "I'm sorry but no" while the angriest 3 year old ever - eyes bulging out of head, his little turnip red face exploding out of his Christmas sweater - is being pushed slowly away from the toy section. His little brother joins in, their crying providing a sick-sad harmony to their Christmas carol. "I want it Dad" he says in a voice that should only be coming out of Linda Blair's possessed body. I am honestly scared.

"I would kill them" I say to Gina.

* * * * *

Our soccer game is finished, and I've crossed the field to the spectator area before I realise that I'm missing my ball. I run back around the outside of the indoor soccer field and find my ball near the visitors' bench. I also find a baby in a car seat.

"Babysitting too?" I ask the lone substitute.

"It's not mine!" he says.

There's no one else standing here.

Mom must be playing goalie, some 50 yards away, on the other side of the wall.

And while I definitely think she's in the wrong, I almost can't blame her.

* * * * *

Kids scare the hell out of me. They're not accidents waiting to happen, they're accidents bound to happen. Deserved accidents that you asked for. Time bombs with defective and unpredictable clocks, tied to your wrist. A curse without a witchdoctor.

Even writing about them makes me nervous.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You crack me up!!

Kids arent all that bad...ok well, you take the good with bad and I hope to god that it all balances out in the end. If I havent screwed up too bad in process I think it'll all turn out ok.

That said there are ALOT of kids that wouldnt live through ONE day at my house...hell, my own are lucky to get to live some days.

This is Audra by the way, damn blogger wont let me login, I 'spose it could be because I cant for the life of me remember either my username and/or my password.