Up until the time I was about 25, I had never known anyone with cancer. And then the floodgates opened. My father, a family friend, an uncle we buried less than a month ago... and now it appears that my 86 year old grandmother has cancer.
It'd be laughable if it didn't kill everyone. It's still almost laughable, but that's probably because I don't know what else I can do.
When my uncle passed I had an email conversation with a cousin in which I wrote that being here in Indiana while everyone is sick back in Illinois is almost a blessing*, because I don't really see all the much suffering. I just hear the news, see the family member a few more times, and then it all ends. From my standpoint it's a cleanly and almost routine exit; family members get to say their goodbyes and make their peace, and then everything just stops.
But this one is different, and somehow feels less fair. I'm just so fucking angry.
* * * * *
*The word I'm looking for isn't exactly "blessing", because I'm not really a person who buys into blessings and god and all that crap (and can you blame me?). That's a different post for a different day.
3 comments:
Man, all I can say is I'm sorry for you.
aw whatever. i'm better today. i just needed to vent.
thanks anyway.
Glad to hear that you feel better today. I lost all four grandparents to cancer, so I can relate.
And, now for something completely different - I'm willing to take that 5 pack of Hopslam off your hands if you don't have any other takers. Just name your price and a meeting place and we'll go from there! Shoot me an e-mail at jddfire1871@hotmail.com.
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