11 June 2009


Here are movies I recently watched and plot twists which could have made them more entertaining.

Wanted - In addition to being a super-assassin, Angelina Jolie's character also likes to sneak into bakeries and make donuts
Three Kings - The innocent Iraqis turn out to be spies for Saddam and Ice Cube has to say "motherfucker" a lot and he has to use his AK.
Pineapple Express - The magic weed strain is actually called "Cocaine", causing much wacky confusion.
Iron Man - The Iron Man suit is actually made of superball material and Tony Stark is a woman.
The Reader - She doesn't work for the SS, she works for the DMV.
Gates of Heaven - All the pets in the cemetery come back to life when they hear those wailin' guitar numbers.
City of Men - The movie is worth watching.
101 Reykjavik - Instead of the gal sleeping with both the guy and his mom, she sleeps with the guy, his mom, and a randomly selected member of the movie audience.
W. - Dick Cheney is a black dude and says "yay!" really effeminately alot.
Blindness - Instead of everyone going blind, everyone gets a puppy and there's a bunch of puppy-related hijinx.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Brad Pitt just sleeps with a bunch of hot girls and they show EVERYTHING.

And in theaters:

Star Trek - Spock is... AN ALIEN.
Up - The flying house crashes into the arch and Albert Pujols is the only person who can save the world.
The Hangover - The movie is set in Trenton Illinois and instead of getting drunk and messed up they drink a bunch of ski and get all jittery and crash a car into the Kountry Store and stuff.

I'm forgettting some more movies I think.


Jim said...

The Reader - That would be an awesome change.

Brant A. Zurliene said...

Wolverine - Works in a Nail Salon in the Mall...with Edward Scissorhands!