well this is certainly newsworthy

CNN has a hard-hitting report on the status of Ken and Barbie's relationship. As it turns out, they've been apart for a couple years. I really had no idea. The good news for Ken fans is that has hit the gym and is looking to win Barbie back.

"Ken has revamped his life -- mind, body and soul," Hollywood stylist and Mattel consultant Phillip Bloch said in a statement. "Everyone knows how difficult it is to change, especially when you've lived your life a certain way for more than four decades."

I'm going to go drink some poison now.