It's the off-season. Sergio stands before Sheri, his gorgeous cocoa-skinned girlfriend of nearly one week. They're in his South Beach mansion's movie room. She claims that she loves him ... but she really wants to choose the movie tonight.
"Please, Sergio? I love-love-love Brad Pitt and George Clooney," she says.
Sergio falls to the fine carpet, screaming, holding his hands over his heart as if he had been kicked there. The pain is too much for him to bear! He might not be able to take it one second longer!
"Fine. You pick what we watch," she sighs.
The pain suddenly erased from his heart, Sergio stands and kisses Sheri on the cheek.
More moments in a soccer player's life at McSweeney's.