30 October 2007

Rawr!

As the dentist is reading off the list of possible side effects - dry socket, pain, numbness, paresthesia* - it occurs to me that all this - the high blood pressure, the panic, the queasiness - could be avoided be just keeping my wisdom teeth, which are perfectly fine anyway.

Five minutes later he's got a vice grip in my mouth. The whole idea of dentistry just seems so medieval to me - it's 2007 and we're using garage tools to pull things out of peoples' mouths? Can't we come up with some kind of tooth vaporizing laser?

Anyway, four days of swelling to follow. Yippee.

I'm standing in the lobby afterwards, and there's a girl standing in the opposite window, just staring at me, gauze in my mouth, and she looks absolutely terrified. Despite the fact that I'm 10 feet away, she just continues to stare - almost like she doesn't realize I can see her. I felt like Frankenstein's monster. Perfect for tomorrow. Not so great today.

* * * * *

*My friend had a band called Paresthesia when we were in high school. I guess they liked the sound of the word, because Paresthesia is "a sensation of tingling, pricking, or numbness of a person's skin with no apparent long-term physical effect, more generally known as the feeling of pins and needles or of a limb being "asleep" (but not directly related to the phenomenon of sleep)." (wikipedia) Dumb name for a band.

3 comments:

Jason266 said...

Makes me thankful that I don't have wisdom teeth.

I heard that wisdom teeth are like the appendix...they served a purpose once upon a time but today are just unnessary extra body parts. The wisdom teeth used to be good for crushing bone. And someday, humans will evolve to the point that no one is born with wisdom teeth.

Basically I'm say that I'm more evolved than you, you knuckle dragging wisdom teeth filled dirty ape.

Mike said...

I'd expect a childish post from someone who's obviously not wise yet. I'm so wise that I've had all my wisdom removed.

Jonathan Schmitt said...

wisdom wise domain of lore.

Some feel the same way about body hair. I have body hair and useful wisdom teeth, in that they fit into my mouth for my bone mauling. HArd to floss though.

I think without wisdom teeth you have a deficiency and a lack of that musty male prowessness that women find sexy in that hard to put a finger on way.

Body hair is more complex. I won't get into it, lets just say that there are baboons with hairless butts and humans with really hairy butts.