So Happy It's Thursday.

Dear person I work with,

I have noticed more than once this week that you like to show your butt crack. I am hoping this is unintentional and that you will be a little more mindful of it next week. Your butt is disgusting and makes me kind of queasy whenever I happen to catch it out of the corner of my eye. I can plainly see that there is always a belt involved in this horrible scenario, as that image has been burned into my eyes. May I ask if it is too much to tighten it another notch? Or perhaps, finish tucking in your shirt? I realize this is a concept you are unfamiliar with, but please understand that it is for the betterment of society.

Oh, and also, shut up. You talk too loud. Just because you are my age and have a master's degree does not mean that you need to talk over everyone else to get your point across. I am sure that professor would have been able to understand you if you used your "inside voice" for that entire effing hour. She was old, I'll give you that, but I assure you she was not hard of hearing.

No, I don't want to listen to your woes about having so much work every fifteen effing minutes. Maybe you could stop calling your wife and asking what was going to be for dinner and you could get some work done.

Thank you,

Gina