22 February 2005

the grass is always browner

In the early months of 2005, I acquired an Indianapolis Public Library card.

The library is quite possibly the greatest of human inventions. A man armed with only the ability to read could step inside its doors and learn almost anything he wanted.

With that thought in mind, my first visit to the library led me directly to the digital card catalog, where I quickly looked up The Best American series of books.

I became familiar with these books when on my quest to read all things David Eggers (not a particulary noble pursuit, I know... but what can I say? I enjoy reading him). He edited the last couple editions of The Best American Non-Required Reading, a series of books I find quite entertaining.

A look through the available titles showed a whole series travel books, so I made the trek upstairs and grabbed 3 at once. The library is quite nice in that you're allowed to take something like 12 books at once, which, while impossible to actually read, makes you feel quite accomplished when you're carrying them out the door.

Hop scotch forward 3 or so months, and I've devoured all three of the books, and the only thing that I've really accomplished is making myself more miserable. Suddenly I know more about Zanzibar, and it sounds like the kind of place I'd like to investigate further.

So I make plans in my head to buy maps, and place pins in them so I can mark all the places I want to see. And I plan to reread all the books, taking notes from each story that interests me, and further researching the locations, and writing page-long papers to file away, all in hopes of someday visiting everywhere.

But in the meantime I'm looking ahead 8 months, checking flights, and putting together my plans for another trip to Japan, a trip I may have to take out a loan to make (but I'm definitely making). And I'm looking ahead to when my car is paid off and I've got $369 in monthly disposible income. And I'm counting down the years until I've reached the milestone that grants me three weeks vacation at work. And I'm trying to figure out how many languages I'll need to learn, and I'm trying to figure out how I can do all this on a $38,000 salary.

And then I'm looking at the Peace Corps web site, wondering if I could just sell the house and start over. And I'm reading worldhum.com, learning more about even more places, and plotting them on the map in my head.

And I'm working out at the gym so I can look like those people in my travel/adventure magazines, and I'm looking at jeeps and land cruisers and four wheel drive vehicles (goodbye $369 in disposible income), and tents and shoes and walking sticks and camp stoves and....

All this does is make me feel more miserable in my current situation.

What good is the library anyway?

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