Hey Mark, heads up

Tell the English guy at work that he can check out all American television soccer listings at soccertv.com. DirecTV has Fox Soccer Channel (Premiership, a bit of the championship, german league), Sentanta (EPL, umm... I don't remember. They've got most the EPL games now), GOL (Spanish League, German I think...) the ESPN networks (ESPN2, ESPN Classic) have Champions League, but not all the games - I think they're also on GOL, but Champions League coverage is a bit more spotty over here.

Sentanta is currently only available with DirecTV, as far as I know.

Soccertv.com is his best resource, though it is a bit difficult to navigate.

I just read that Sentanta has some of the games - I guess that's a fact.

but wait

Tonight's Copa America matchup of Brazil and Mexico is going to be pretty interesting since most of Mexico is already calling for coach Hugo Sanchez's head, and Brazil is Brazil (good). But tomorrow's US/Argentina match will be even more interesting, only because we've sent a squad of B or C level players to play against an Argentina squad that's loaded up with some of the world's best. What's going to happen? We'll probably win like 13-4.

I won't be watching the US game live for the first time in a long time - Beer Geek takes priority tomorrow night - but the Tivo will be loaded and ready after I've done my beer tasting duties. It should be an interesting match at 11 or 12 pm, after a few, knowing I get to drive back to Illinois in the morning. Maybe I'll even stay awake.

YEAH!

I'm bored.

New Fulham Kit..

I told you Fulham were going with Nike... Here's what appears to be next year's uniform. I know you were worried.

Classy! Plain!

Thanks, Craven Cottage Newsround.

RSL Loses

Instead of ranting about the game, a 2-0 loss, I'm going to complain about other things I see in soccer games and broadcasts that drive me nuts.

1) "The Mixer" - I've been alive 31 years, and in 29 of those years I've never heard the 18 yard box called "the mixer". Last summer Dave O'Brien, a clueless (though well intentioned) hack announcer gets the World Cup gig, starts calling the 18 yard box "the mixer" (because I'm sure he has no idea that it's 18 yards), and now EVERYONE is calling the 18 yard box "the mixer". IT'S THE 18 YARD BOX.

GO FUCK YOURSELF IN THE MIXER.

2) If you've got a free kick, and can put the ball into the 18 YARD BOX, why are you making an extra pass to get it there? Same thing with corner kicks... the short corner kick is a fucking waste. DON'T THROW AWAY OPPORTUNITIES.

3) If you play cautious formations, like the 4-5-1, and you don't have Thierry Henry sitting up top, you're going to end up losing. Because 1 striker never scores when he's playing four fullbacks. Unless he gets lucky.

4) If you're up by a goal with 30 minutes left in the game, and you sit everyone back and play in a shell, you're going to end up in a tie or loss. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS. No one wins by playing half-assed.

OH FUCK IT.

RSL has the undefeated NY Red Bulls next, and at some point you just have to say "well this isn't fucking working". 4-5-1? Sure the midfield is having fun. Freddy Adu can run by guys all day. Mehdi Ballouchy is all over the place, but isn't going to work as the up midfielder, because he won't shoot, or can't create his own shots. I know the defense was a mess last year, but they were a lot better in the second half of the year... the team was the best team in the second half. So why not build on that? Why change it up? Why are they playing a 4-5-1?

I just think they're too loyal to their guys. Sure, Jason Kreis has a million goals, but that was 5 years ago. Carey Talley is a nice guy, but someone's gotta sit. It's time to do something different. It ain't working.

This RSL team reminds me every team I ever played on... things not going your way? Foul and bitch at the referee. I don't like it when I'm playing, and I don't like watching it on tv.

oh yeah, that.

You might be wondering how RSL's season has started this year... RSL currently are 0-1-2, and sitting in last place. They've become the team I'm most attached to, which makes things all that much more worse. I actually just paid $5 to watch crappy online video of the game against Chivas USA - and then the feed didn't work for the first 20 minutes of the game. When it finally did work, the score was already 2-0.

There's nothing worse than feeling like an idiot for sitting at home watching soccer online on a Saturday night - unless the soccer you paid to see doesn't work. Then you just cuss at the computer.

I called for a refund but they basically told me to get a life.

As for Fulham, no game on tv this week, which didn't matter because I'm in Illinois for the funerals. And Fulham tied, which means they've got to beat Arsenal or Liverpool in the coming weeks, or there's a REALLY good chance they're getting relegated.

Looking for a Premiership team to root for next year...

Trying to figure out what I've gotten myself into with RSL...

Crap weekend.

funnyhaha

My old friend (and former new favorite german) Moritz Volz is back with his semi-regular column for the London Times (or Times of London or Lontime Dons). This week he's addressing how to look the part of a premiership player. Funny stuff. Here are a few favorites:

Any player being filmed leaving a team bus must ensure that he is wearing headphones and carrying a small Louis Vuitton wash bag.

Two or more players should always dispute who will take a free kick, even though they have spent an entire week on the training ground working out who will take them.

Before kick-off, goalkeepers should always hang from the crossbar to check it does not have any cracks in it.

Cookie Sacked

Cookie would be the nickname of Fulham manager Chris Coleman. And sacked means fired. I'm English.

Cookie seemed like a good guy - he seemed to really like American players, he may or may not have been sleeping around on his wife, and he kept the team out of the relegation zone for a long time.

But Fulham won one road game in the past two years.

So it was probably time. They're hired Northern Ireland manager Lawrie (not dirty) Sanchez to replace him, and by what I've read, it seems that Sanchez does a nice job. We'll see if he's up for playing Clint Dempsey - Cookie didn't.

*

Indiana University plays Notre Dame in Indy this Saturday.. but it conflicts with my RSL viewing. I don't know what to do. Anyone going to IU/ND?

*

Neko Case put on a nice show last night.

Who are these people that go to shows to have loud conversations with other people? You paid $25+ to not pay attention to the performer?

I don't get it.

"Research"

Found this when doing a little research for my beer review at HBG. Funny enough.



This one I'm not so sold on.

Oh what the hell

I've sent an email to my old high school soccer coach to see if he'd be interested in throwing his current squad (well, once the season starts, anyway) up against an all-star team of former players. Because in my head it seems like a good idea... I'm sure those kids would run us into the ground. But we can sub a lot. And foul. And steal their girlfriends. Except most the guys I know are older than 30, so maybe not the girlfriends part.

I haven't played soccer in a few months, of course, but I feel good about myself. I'm amazed at how fast I am on a bike already this season. I'm sure that'll translate to soccer skills.

Right?

MLS starts soon. I'll write about that someday.

the emperors mismatched clothes

Recently I had a conversation with Gina in which I stated that I was suprised that Nike hadn't gotten their greedy hands all over Fulham yet. Since the Dempsey move Fulham have become the default American EPL team, and it seemed only natural that Nike would want a taste of that exposure.

I must be psychic, because apparently Nike is attempting to secure jersey sponsorship.

Fulham appear to be having some sort of problem with their current kit supplier (the French company Airness) anyway. It's true that Fulham's jerseys, shorts, and socks are made by Airness, but a quick view at the sidelines reveals that the warm up uniforms and coats feature the Nike logo. It all seems sort of half-assed.

I'll be happy if Fulham moves to a Nike jersey. It means easier access to the jerseys, and perhaps even a design that isn't shared with Lille.

indy soccer is dead, long live indy soccer

I've had it with the state of soccer in Indianapolis. I recently attempted to reach a bunch of teams through the Central Indiana Amateur Soccer Association, and even though I managed to come up with like 10 contact email addresses (for teams spread all over the place - I was willing to drive pretty much anywhere), only 4 responded, and none of them had any room on their teams. At least they responded though.

So what's a guy to do? I don't know 15 people in the city who play soccer, or at least I don't know 15 reliable people who play soccer, who would be willing to fork over the initial cash outlay to put together a team. I even considered throwing the money out myself in order to have a team to play with forever and ever. But I still don't know 15 reliable people.

I'm discouraged. I'd say at this point I'm almost completely beaten. I'm going to attempt to forget it ever happened.

* * * * *

Oh, Fulham lost to Man U this weekend by way of a Christiano Ronaldo goal somewhere around the 87th minute of a game that Fulham really probably deserved to win. Brian McBride scored. Of course. Clint Dempsey came on in the 70th minute and failed to impress. It really appears that he's not up to speed, or maybe that he's sort of stuck in slow motion. I don't expect much out of him yet this year, to be honest. I wasn't that familiar with him (aside from his World Cup performance) before the transfer to Fulham, and I thought he was probably going to be in a fight to get in games. Fulham has faster and more aggresive options out wide (the Canadian Tomas Radzinski), so Mr. Dempsey is going to have to be awfully creative to get work in. He hasn't started a game since coming over.

I've only watched 10 minutes of the Newcastle match, so I don't know how Gooch played. I've been trying to catch all his games now. I do know he started.

Is it April yet? I'm ready for MLS action.

So it's Real SALT LAKE after all...

And so after months of debate and the very real threat of the team moving to St. Louis, RSL have a stadium deal. Congrats to Steve Pastorino and the rest of the fine folks at RSL - I'll be visiting in 2008.

While this would appear to be a bad thing for St. Louis, according to reports the process has actually advanced St. Louis' prospects for a team. They're talking about a team in 2008, which would be pretty amazing.

* * * * *

If you read my previous post, then you know I've considered breaking the soccer out of my blog. Today I'm not so hot on that idea. It's still up in the air.

The other blog does look nice, though.

The other thought I had was to just quit blogging.

Gooch goes to the toon

Although I'm sure Oguchi Onyewu would have been wonderful playing for Fulham, I can't say I'm sad to hear that he's been picked up by Newcastle. I've got no problem with Newcastle, after all, anyone who's seen Goal! The Dream Begins (not really too bad a movie, actually) knows that they're more than fair to Americans.

So all in all, I'm pretty happy for Gooch.

But I was wondering what Newcastle fans thought, so I pulled up a Newcastle-online.com, a supporter's site. Let's take a look at some of the comments about the signing:

Not a signing to set the pulses racing - he’s not exactly a household name!

Rocha for spurs looked like a better deal for me... dissapointing transfer window

I don’t know anything about this ‘Gooch’ Lad & hopefully he’s a world beater. But even if he is, surely both a Left & Right back are the priorities?

Is he better than the young lads or Bramble & Moore. I hope so. We still need a left back & a striker

are we supose to be happy by this signing? hes a retard Boro them selves rejected him.

But it's not all bad:

Decent signing I reckon, but would like to have seen at least 1 full back arrive along with centre half we have loaned and a striker!!

I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping this turns out better than they're expecting.

* * * * *

This post brought to you by Goal! 2: The Dream Continues and Goal! 3: The Dream Ends In MLS

A whole lotta not much

Although I was invited out Friday night, a severe lack of budget meant that instead Gina and I went to see Old Joy at Key Cinemas in beautiful south Indianapolis.

I don't think I can do the movie much justice; I found it fantastically accurate and honest, to the point that the dialog seemed almost based on former conversations I'd had myself. I'd like for all traveling friends to see it themselves.

Then again, they might think it's not any good.

Saturday morning was a Fulham tie (that's like ) and Clint Dempsey's debut in a Fulham shirt. He looked confident on the ball and helped in the effort to secure Fulham's goal. It's also quite possible that he fell asleep on the defensive end and allowed for Tottenham's easy goal. Here's a little article about Dempsey's debut.

Saturday afternoon was spent watching the National Team v Denmark. Not much worth reporting there; nice work by some MLS guys, but the game didn't mean much. I'm much more interested in the Mexico game.

After the game I made a pasta/arugula/olive salad that turned out ok, though a little light on taste. Then again, it was a Cooking Light recipe.

Saturday evening I caught the end of the replay between the US under-20's and Guatemala. I'd say the US team was less than impressive, and the 0-0 final score was a fitting result for the poor effort.

Sunday I spent the early part of the day watching Manchester United/Arsenal, and was glad to see Wayne Rooney score. Of course Arsenal ended up winning the match in the 93rd minute.

I then went out and shoveled the driveway; it was good to get some sort of exercise. I've been spending my time away from work exclusively on the couch. As a result I'm 5-10 pounds heavier than I should be.

I spent the better part of the afternoon cooking up Farmer's Market Chicken, a chicken/squash/carrot/tomato conconction. It was also underwhelming, though the chicken part of it was quite tasty. I finished in time to catch the second half of the Bears game.

Gina and I then watched the Colts. By halftime I found myself looking for something else to do, convinced that they had another loss on their hands. But my internet connection was down, so I kept myself on the couch and rode out the thrilling victory.

As good as the game way, the postgame local news coverage was even better: A 50-something female newscaster said "Get R Done" during the broadcast, the footage from a northside bar showed a bunch of drunk people posing and dancing for the cameras... I actually turned the tivo on to save the footage for later. What a parade of retardation.

But it was understandable. I don't think anyone here thought the Colts had much hope of actually winning the game. It was nice to see it happen.

The next two weekends should be good; first my birthdayish celebration next weekend, and a Colts Superbowl the next. Good times to come.

bring out your dead

I can't handle it still being dark at 8:45 am.

So I suppose you might be wondering how the Clint Dempsey Fulham era started. Although Directv didn't have the game listed, thanks to my good friends at SoccerTV.com, I knew that the game was going to be shown live on Setanta Extra at 10 AM. So I got up and took my usual spot on the couch, and prepared myself for an awesome display of "We Hungry" (he should fit in wonderfully in London).

But alas, the starting Midfielders were Captain Michael Brown (who, honestly, I'm not that fond of), Tomasz Radzinski (Canadian), Wayne Routledge (on loan from Tottenham. Shifty. Small.) and either Mortiz Volz (a past winner of My New Favorite German) or Carlos Bocanegra (American. Scores the occasional big goal. Sort of clueless.)

If you're wondering why I couldn't tell if Boca was playing defense or midfield, you haven't seen Boca play for Fulham.

In any case, Dempsey didn't play (or appear on the screen at all), McBride scored (as usual), Boca and the other central defender fell asleep at the wheel and gave a goal away (twice this year now), and Fulham came back to earn the tie (as usual). Good game, anyway.

* * * * *

Friday, John and I went down to the MLS draft. Prior to the draft Steve had told us that it was a 3 deep draft, and that unfortunately RSL had the fourth pick.

But as it turned out, RSL got the guy they were after, Columbus' traveling fanshow got punched in the crotch when Columbus' braintrust traded away their first round draft pick for future considerations, and I got freaky with Maurice Edu's posse of Nubian princesses. Two of those three statements are true.

The draft is sort of dull, to be honest; there's not much drama in watching a bunch of guys you've never heard having their names read off. But it was a very nice looking production, and I'd go again... Unfortunately John and I left before the call for Southern Illinois University at Edwardsville's Mike Banner... and it's a good thing because I may have yelped with joy - I am also a SIUE alum.

* * * * *

And the Colts won and get to play the Patriots for a chance at the Superbowl. Hold on Indy, you're about to get Belichicked again. The last football game I watched was the Colts' victory over the Patriots (which took place while I was out in Vegas) - I told my co-viewers that the Colts were getting the win out of the way so they could lose in the playoffs.

That said, I'd like for them to win. I just don't have any faith in Payton at all. He's got the constant look of "I just pooped my pants and I have to wear them for another 3 hours" on his face. At least when Elway was blowing games he had the decency to smile about it (which always drove me nuts). Elway did get over, eventually...

* * * * *

One last thing... I'm hearing rumors of Gooch to Chelsea? Please god, no.

* * * * *

Ok, another last thing:

Dave will then take a ceremonial free kick from 30 yards over a wall that is the Jackson 5 (Michael in the middle) and the ball will magically curl up and over the Jackson 5 and into the top corner. Then the goal will split in half like in the opening ceremony for USA 94. Then James Brown's "Living in America" will boom over the loudspeaker.

Interesting to hear what folks thing about the Beckham deal on the other side of the pond. Thanks, Football365.com mailbox.

*

sunil galati is a tiny man

I've just returned from the downtown Indianapolis Hyatt, where I saw a virtual smorgasbord of who's who in MLS and US Soccer. Gina, John and myself met with Steve just as things seemed to pick up at the hotel bar.

As we awaited Steve's arrival, the first person I noticed was Eric Wynalda. For those of you with no Eric Wynalda background - Eric is the all time leader in goals for your US National Team. He's also responsible for one of the few times I've actually jumped for joy while watching a sporting event (at 1:22 in thisyoutube clip... i think).

Then we saw Rob Stone, the ESPN analyst, and then John Harkes, and Preki, and met Peter Wilt, who was fantastically nice (as I now see reported) and who listened to my Yellowstone buffalo collision story with what seemed to be a level of genuine interest.

Then we saw Sunil Galati.

Then Bruce Arena walked behind us. Even Gina knows who Bruce Arena is.

And I'm forgetting a bunch of people. I met a bunch of RSL staff, all of whom were very nice.

And pretty much every MLS GM and coach, aside from Alexi Lalas, who was probably busy figuring out ways to make money off the Beckham deal.

Of course I shouldn't forget to mention that Steve served as a wonderful host for us when he wasn't busy working. Great guy, that Steve. But you knew that already.

All in all, a pretty sort of surreal experience. Just me and John and Gina, hanging out at a bar with half my high school idols. Not bad.

You're not getting this news in the Indy Star...

For anyone reading who thinks they might want to check out the MLS Superdraft (because it's truly super) at the Indianapolis convention center downtown, I have the following info from a good source.

draft is open to public... You can be first rsl fan to meet our draft pick...

And you can see Alexi Lalas IN THE FLESH. Highlight of your life, probably. I only wish I still had my 1994 US National Team Jersey (the blue one with the white stars). I'd have him autograph it and then I'd frame it above my bed.

* * * * *

In additional news, apparently the draft isn't the only MLS related thing going on in town this weekend. MLS pairs up with the National Soccer Coaches Association of America's convention to bring you a few tasty treats.

According to this article, MLS will have a booth at the convention with giveaways, player visits, and a raffle that gives you a chance to win the pants off of Landon Donovan's new wife, sexy* tv and film star* Bianca Kajlich.

In addition, the Columbus Crew and Chicago Fire have organized fan buses coming to town, so you could possibly meet Section 8, a group of fans who do a fantastic job. Or perhaps you'll meet V Army from Columbus, who I'm sure are quite lovely people.

And don't forget the NSCAA convention, either. Apparently it's worth checking out.

From here:

The NSCAA Convention also played host to one of the largest soccer trade shows in the world, and one need look no further than the A through Z of over 300 vendors who paid up to several thousand dollars for the privilege of holding booth space in the impressive Exhibit Hall to become aware that soccer in the U.S. is indeed undertaking somewhat of a revolution and now represents very big business.

Here's a schedule. Is this open to the public? I guess?

Sounds good to me. Again... you're not getting this info in the Star.

So come on out. Take in a session on "The Mastering of Soccer Through Consciousness", Johnny Guzman, Professional Coach, NYSA, Inc."

I guess it's free? Or maybe not... On this page it says something about a $99 weekend special. Whatever. You weren't coming out anyway.

Or you can sneak in the back door. Just tell them you're working for food service.

* * * * *

*things that aren't sexy: her clothing in that picture... You wore that to a party for Stuff Magazine? Did Landon dress you?

*according to her website she hasn't worked since 2002.

I'm an idiot.

So I've been planning a meet up with a friend for about 6 months now, coinciding with the MLS Superdraft, taking place in Indianapolis.... this Friday. Not next friday, like I thought. Even though we've had a conversation via email over and over again...

Anyway, I just figured out that it's this Friday, thanks to Scot, and du Nord. Which would explain why the email said "I'll call you Thursday".

I'm probably going to take Friday off for the draft. Why not? Does anyone actually know where it is? Is the public allowed in? Can I get this info in the next 24 hours? Can someone help me find my pants?

busy day

So if St. Louis gets an MLS team, they'll play in Collinsville?

Collinsville, seriously? Calling Collinsville a suburb of St. Louis is kind of like calling Whiteland* a suburb of Indianapolis.

I find it hard to believe that anyone from Missouri is going to cross the river to go see an MLS game. But if they do, at least they can take in the world's largest catsup bottle.

Your St. Louis CATSUPSTARS.

I'm making a push for the name immediately.

Update: An article in your Belleville News Democrat - the only paper my mother reads

* * * * *

*town slogan: Because no one wanted to live in Blackland

it's a fulham firesale

See you later, Luis Boa Morte. Aside from a spectacular game against Arsenal, Luis never did much to impress me. I might be tempted to call his play inconsistent, but truthfully I'd just say he was consistently average. So I'm sort of glad to see him go, they can use the money better elsewhere.

He didn't make sense as captain, that's for sure.

Get out of here, Collins John! Wait, nevermind.

Collins John is definitely inconsistent, but he's only 21. Maybe he's the next Louis Saha (62 games, 23 goals). Which just means when he comes around he'll be sold to Man U.

I own a Man U jersey. Bought it in Tokyo at a soccer shop across from Meiji Jingu in Harajuku. Didn't see the guys in the picture. Saw plenty of this sort of thing. Should have had Wayne Rooney's name put the jersey. Wayne Rooney is a fucking champ.

Fulham have brought in L'Aeroplanino ("The Little Aeroplane") on loan. Says he wants to stay, too. I don't really know anything about him other than what I just read on Wikipedia. VINCENZO MONTELLA!!! Sounds best when read aloud in an excited Italian voice. As do most things. I HAVE HEMORRHOIDIOS!* See?

No new news on Gooch. Fingers crossed....

I'd say this is the premier Fulham blog on the web. Go ahead, find another one. I dare you.

* * * * *

Italian for Hemorrhoids.